Saturday 21 January 2012

Pants

Morning! And a jolly Saturday to one and all.

Today is a pants day. No, I'm fine....mostly (slightly hungover perhaps!) However, pants is the 'mot du jour'

I have decided to wear nice ones today, in fact I have decided that everyday will be pants and that I am going to dig out every good pair of pants I own and give them pride of place at the front of my drawer. Generally they stay curled up and ragged at the back like some long forgotten souvenir of a great date.

Every morning, up until today that is, I have pulled out the first available pair. This usually results in something resembling the before shot on '10 Years Younger' - I can just hear that smug blonde mocking me as I pull them up and they come to rest unhappily on my five-babies-later-hips.


No more the shameful undergarments for me, the ones I would be ashamed of if I were to be involved in an accident. No siree, from henceforth I shall be in the serene knowledge that my slightly chubby deriere shall be sheathed in the luxury of satin, silks and ribbons. I shall wear the smile of someone happy to be knocked over by the number 28a and whisked off to hospital, laughing in the security that comes to those of us who wear nice knickers, that when my time comes to undress, I should be almost dancing around the Accident and Emergency department flashing my drawers! If it wasn't for the hypothetically broken legs!



Don't panic, I'm not about to squeeze myself uncomfortably into VPL inducing tightness, I'd rather stick to my rice-bags than bestow that sight on my nearest and dearest. No, I have just banished the saggy, grey, unflattering unappealing remnants of a former me to the rag re-cycling bin. I do hope they can't be traced back to me....they'll probably arrive back here in a few weeks with 'Thanks, but no thanks, we're not that desperate!'
Right, I've got to get my beautifully dressed back-side into gear now. I'm supposed to be writing you know! And this hangover isn't helping; my lovely other half bought a bottle of bubbly to celebrate last night. No, not my pants epiphany..... although finding his hat in the cupboard intended for the storing of hats does now, in the cold light of day, seem like quite a spurious reason for celebration! Oh well....he's happy, I'm happy!

Swing your pants guys!





2 comments:

  1. girl friend stole my pants x

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  2. Lol, not a minute too soon me thinks. A girl can be judged on the state of her pants you know! well done you fo seeing the light, it matters !!!xx

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