DOUBT IT!

Well....there it is....on my desk in an envelope all 5000 words, synopsis and biography, just sitting there, just waiting, just.....

And now the doubts!

I have just spent the best part of this year (ok I know we're not even a third of the way through yet, but you know what I mean) brainstorming, story-boarding, writing, deleting, completely re-writing, changing the story (drastically), printing off, reading, re-reading, re-re-writing, re-printing.....to now be really scared about sending it off out in to the world.

Out to a panel of judges......Will they like it? Will they get it? Is it what they were looking for? Have I completely missed the mark?....Do they know how much I could do with the prize money????....No, I know...it's not the winning that counts, but it would be so nice just a small affirmation that i'm on the right track, you know?

It's been quite hard work. Having said that I have loved every single minute of it - really. It's been such a joy to be sat at my computer just putting my imagination on to the screen. A real luxury actually, just having that time. And THAT'S why the money prize money would be so wonderful as it would prove to me that I can do this that i'm not wasting my time - precious time.

The sun is shining right now and just as soon as I finish this blog I am off to play footie with half pint and I will have a fabulous time, but that's not going to last forever. In the next few years probably five at the most he won't want to be seen out playing with his mum...and I can't blame him. I was fairly old when I had him, almost 43, so by the time he's 10....you do the maths!! 

Writing has always been an ambition of mine. I always wrote stories when I was little - not for homework (I never did much of that!!) but for myself. I always made up stories for my sons and I will always be walking around with new stories forming themselves in my head. So, if you see me out and about looking rather vague (ok, ok I know I always look vague!!!) then this is what is happening, be careful what you say at a time like this as you may just find yourself morphed into one of my characters.

My dearly beloved husband keeps saying that it's not the winning and that at least I now have a fully formed story to send out to other agents etc and he's right but, if you do happen to know the judges, put a word in for me!!

All I need to do now is just pop it all in to an envelope, put a stamp on it and pray!

Ok, done. 

Hold on...I just need to read it all once more. I'll send it tomorrow - maybe!